Crying Glass Pearls
by The Shinsengumi Muses
Summary: Youji has been trying to do one thing for the last three years of his life, something that remains a mystery. But as he draws nearer to the source of his obsession, things get a little dangerous and a new lover lends a hand. Youji/Aya, plot-promised soo


Notes: Heh, my first individual WK! I hope ya like it! Send comments straight to emmy1x2@yahoo.com  
  
Warnings: Aya/Youji Youji/OC, angst (but not too much in this part ^_^), slight sap  
  
**Crying Glass Pearls**  
  
By: Emmy  
  
**Part One: A Personal Mission**  
  


* * *

  
_ "I told you! He doesn't love you! The only reason he wanted you was to replace the hole that SHE left because he loved HER! You couldn't even cover half that hole! You're half the person that she was and he used you! But the funny thing is he didn't even think you would help him. You couldn't replace her. All you did was make her jealous, and now, because you have served your purpose, he's going to get rid of you! He loved her!"  
  
That's what everyone told me. I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to believe that he loved me for me. I knew that she was something special to him, and I felt from the beginning that I was being used to replace her because my personality was like hers... but in the end I wasn't even a shadow of her figure. And he never loved me.  
  
After we had a few wild nights, he stopped calling. He stopped talking to me, he avoided me at parties. That was all that happened. I hated it. I thought that the things my friends told me about him were untrue. He had me twice. I thought he decided that he wanted me a second time for real, but I was wrong. Oh well. I guess I didn't want to think about it anymore.   
  
He was done with me. And I was there, broken. But it didn't matter any more.  
  
The one joy in my life had left me.  
  
What could I do?  
  
I used to be a nice, boy next door type. And after that, I decided that the only person I could be if he wasn't there was a playboy. Well guess what?  
  
Mission accomplished.  
  
I'm fuckin' ready to get you back, the only way that I know how.  
  
Are ya ready?_   
  


* * *

  
I pulled out a cigarette and pressed it to my lips, lighting a small fire. I breathed in the toxin and breathed it out, creating a cloud around myself. This was my only protection in the middle of the night, walking back from a bar. I couldn't find him. I had tracked him down, hadn't seen him in years, but I found one of his normal hangouts.  
  
So was this what Youji Kudou had become?  
  
A stalker, looking for revenge?  
  
I thought that I was ready for revenge, and I had to be. After all, I had complete and total confidence in myself. And I was going to show him just what he missed out on.  
  
Now if I couldn't only find the asshole.  
  
I used to love him, he's the reason that I hate men now. It's all his fault, and I'm ready to get him back.  
  
I ruffle my hair absently, running a hand through it and then jam my hands deep into the pockets of my leather jacket.  
  
"Damnit." I mutter to no one in particular, and head back home. I really thought he would be there, after all, that was the place my sources told me he hung out on the weekends...  
  
Finally, I reached the flower joint. I snuck in the back way with the key in my pocket. I was ready to hit the sack... that's what I was ready to do. But SOMEONE didn't want me to. This face was glaring at me as soon as I came in. I grimaced as he turned to face me. "Manx came with a mission, but you weren't here."  
  
"Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Just fill me in, OK?" I grinned and pat him on the back, walking into the shop, about ready to head up stairs.  
  
"Hold it, Kudou." He said in a low voice which caused me to turn around slowly.   
  
"What is it? Why did you wait up for me?"  
  
"I wanted to warn you about this next mission. I really don't want you to take it on."  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"I'm saying this for your own safety."  
  
"Woah, fearless leader, worried about little ole me?" I winked and he grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling me into a shadowed area.   
  
His voice was deep and gruff, like how he sounded most of the time. But this time it sounded like he had something to SAY besides, 'Get out if you're not buying anything.' "Youji. Stop doing what you're doing."  
  
"Eh? And WHAT exactly am I doing?"  
  
"Don't be naive, Kudou. Stop it. Now."  
  
I winked at him, not actually sure if he was talking of my friendly stalking... or my flirting tendencies. "But Aya... what am I doing?" I blinked innocently. He returned my innocent look with a glare. Before I could say another thing, and before I could stress an answer, his lips crushed onto mine, pinning me against the wall. My mind went blank... why was he...?  
  
Was there something that I didn't know...?  
  
The scariest thing was the fact that he DID remind me of Tatewaki. The man that changed me forever.  
  
My eyes closed slowly as his grip loosened and his arm's wrapped around my neck. I was unable to move, but I spun my arms around his waist, leaning down and kissing back with fervor. I was knocked back into the wall. His hands intertwined through my hair as he kissed me harder and rougher, pulling me close until our bodies were packed together. He pushed back and took a chance to look me in the eyes. I have to admit that I was a bit breathless from THAT kiss.  
  
"Woah, where did that come from...?" I asked after a moment.  
  
"Don't play dumb." He said again, and laced his fingers around mine.   
  
Uh... right. Not that I really minded. I had always had a small thing for Aya, but I haven't said or made good on that feeling. The only thing that I honestly wanted in the last couple years had been to get back at Tatewaki. All the girls throughout my life had been temporary relief. I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to treat Aya like that.. he was something special.  
  
Yeah, something really special.  
  
But I still didn't know what this was about.  
  
I grinned at him and after slipping off my coat and taking off my shoes, grabbed his hand again and pulled him up the stairs to my room. It seemed a little odd, but I didn't actually plan on doing anything. I just wanted to hold him, as cheesy as that sounded. I pulled him into my room and pushed him down to my bed. Looking down into those violet eyes I asked, after a kiss to the forehead, "Why are you doing this?"  
  
"Omi told me." Was his simple answer.  
  
Omi told him what? Oh well, the kid's a genius, so I better not pry or even try to second guess him.   
  
I pulled Aya's shirt off gently, and I was surprised that he was so... cooperative.  
  
I laid down on top of him, wrapping my arms around his waist. I rolled around on my back, pulling the blankets over us. He blinked a few times as I nuzzled into his chest and closed my eyes. After laying there for a few minutes, he raised his voice again. "Kudou? What are you doing?"  
  
"Aya, I had a late night and right now I just wanna hold you."  
  
I could feel his body stiffen and I could hardly blame him. After all, he WASN'T a person that really adapted to cuddling well. Too bad. Aya was cuddable. And, hey, in my moment of genius I concocted a new word! "Is that OK with you?" I asked quickly, placing a quick kiss on his neck.  
  
"... I suppose..."  
  
"Good." I kissed his lips and closed my eyes once again I I felt his body relax against mine. Hey, what do ya know? Tonight was a good night after all!  
  


* * *

  
  
End of part one 


End file.
